Today is November 2, 2008. Forty years ago, that monster Jesse Jacobs who lived at that house at 2117 Glenwood ave, Toledo, Ohio., started molesting me and my two brothers Jerry and my little brother Howard who was only seven years old at the time. That man quite unfortunately was my half Uncle. How this nightmare in my life get started, was it seems that my mother met that man's older brother Eddie Jacobs in a bar somewhere and had sexual relations with him and my half-sister Joyce was born. My mother was only 26 at the time and I wondered how could she be in a relationship with a man almost 30 years older than her and why she encouraged us to go over that monster's house for weekends from 1968 to 1972., and why she was happy to have us boys out of the house. That monster Jesse Jacobs stole our childhood away from us. He tricked us with toys and trips to McDonald's and Walbridge Park and shopping trips to Woodville Mall, the stuff he did were bribes to keep us from telling on him. I have not seen that monster since I was 12 years old, yet I have trouble sleeping, I can't sleep in a bedroom by myself, so I sleep on the couch in the living room because I feel safer there. I stay awake all night watching TV afraid that if I go to sleep at night I will have that nightmare again, the one where I find myself trapped by that man and he's doing stuff to me, and I'm always trying to get away from him and I wake up screaming in pain with cramps in both legs from trying to run in my sleep. That is my fear, I can not forget what he did did to me. Every day I am reminded, some days are better than others, but the one thing that is clear: I did not ask this man to be my half Uncle, my mother slept with his brother and that is how my life became a living nightmare. I am a survivor......and I will always survive as long as I know how to love and to keep on giving my love freely I know I will be alive and just fine.

I just got through watching Sleepless In Seattle while doing three miles exercising on my Grazelle ski machine thinking about what Annie had to do to find herself the true love of her life, and I got thinking hmm I love the girl who went to New York, I love New York: The Big Apple=I love the girl with The Big Heart. She wrote me a Dear Larry letter last January 14, 2007 which did a number on me, I spent 72 hours crying my heart out over her, couldn't eat, stayed in bed all three days, didn't go to work the next day, a monday. I've never cried like that ever in my life over someone like that before ever or fell apart so fast over a woman who used so many words to tell me to shut up or else it's off with my head. I was right, Kristin Clemens is very much The Princess, I should have not let myself be fooled by her sweet personality, wow this girl has an attitude! And to think, I have a ring for her, yeah I was going to give it to her just before Christmas, but I got scared, it's a big step, what if she turns out to be really mean or something even through her name means Christmas. My little sister Alicia, told me I was being too forward, even through it's an friendship ring through it is an diamon ring, she was concerned that I might sending Kristin the wrong message and that I should be sure about her. I am, I might at times act a little shy around Kristin, but my heart is in the right place, I do love Kristin Clemens, but I haven't really made her laugh out loud to see if it true what they say about her, I don't believe what they say, she's smart, funny and really cute and I love her for all those reasons and for all she is inside, that's what she does to me, feel feelings of wanting her, holding her in my arms close to my heart, feeling her beat in tune with mine, helping her feel safe and wonderful knowing that she is loved by me: her hero a knight in shining armour.