Imagine, for a moment, what lovemaking might be for a man who isn't afraid to be truly erotic and not just sexual: He gets to know his partner. He's sensitive to her moods. instead of rushing, he takes his time, he talks to her, listens to her, gets a sense of the kind of person she is, gives her--and himself--time to fantasize about making love, to learn to trust each other. He shows her that she's a special person to him. And when the relationship gets to the point of touching, he still doesn't rush. Perhaps they'll massage each other. Or take a delicious shower together, loving every moment of the excitement, the anticipation, the longing. The really erotic lover creates an atmosphere--candlelight, music, a room that's warm and cozy. He tells his partner she's beautiful, desirable--and he means it. He knows how to touch, and where, and when--not because he's read The Kama Sutra or the Joy Of Sex With Love, but because he's alert and sensitive to his partner's needs. The French have a saying "The aim of desire is not it's satisfaction but it's prolongation." It's not the moment of orgasm that people remember, but the desire, the anticipation--so why not make it as leisurely as possible? The man who draws intercourse out shows his partner that her pleasure is important to him and that he cares about prolonging her pleasure as well as his own. And afterwards, he doesn't turn over and go to sleep--that's about the least erotic thing anyone can do, instead to him, it's a beautiful shared experience-that he'll want to stay close, holding the woman he loves, talking to her, to remember, kiss, caress--and perhaps fall to sleep together enlaced. Like : Lancelot and Guinevere, Tristram and Isolde , Cleopatra and Mark Antony. The truly desirable lover is the one who can feel, and make his partner feel tenderness, wonder, exaltation and delightful sensations.